Doctor Who & Phineas and Ferb–Non-Existent Crossovers (Eleventh Doctor)

Doctor Who has been on (and off) the air since 1963, with a myriad of adventures showing the Doctor and his companions traveling to endless corners of the universe.

(Daily Doctor Who #342)

But do you know where they haven’t traveled? Into my other favorite science fiction media properties, that’s where!

But what if they had? What if somehow, this had been possible? What stories would it have been cool to see the Doctor interacting with?

In this series of posts, we’re going to make some suggestions. Thirteen suggestions, in fact…one for each Doctor. The idea is to find something for each that, even if there was no real way for to have happened, was at least remotely possible from a time-frame point of view. So, no meetings between the Third Doctor and Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman, for example.

We have covered the First Doctor, the Second, the Third , the Fourth, the Fifth, the Sixth, the Seventh, the Eighth Doctor, the Ninth Doctor, and the Tenth Doctor. For the second time, we’re going to send the Doctor into the world of animated television.

So, this world of complete fantasy fan-fiction is proud to present…

Doctor Who


Phineas and Ferb

Phineas and Ferb is an animated series created by Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh for the Disney Channel and Disney XD. It ran for several years and told the story of step brothers Phineas and Ferb Flynn, who during their summer vacation got involved in one improbable adventure after another, most of which involved an elaborate project that the brothers embarked on with the help of their friends. At the same time, their older sister Candace was constantly wanting to make sure that their mother found about the hi-jinx in order to bust them–something she’d inevitably fail at when an unexpected event would abruptly (and almost magically) wipe away any trace of the boys’ activities.

That event would almost always be caused by the failed efforts of a local mad scientist, Dr. Doofenshmirtz to take over the tri-state area. Those plans would end up being foiled by Agent P–in reality the brothers’ pet platypus Perry, who was really a secret agent who would be sent on missions to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz’ scheme.

Anyway, the series ran from 2007 – 2015, which means that it covered the entirety of the Eleventh Doctor’s era. Our crossover will be an episode of Phineas and Ferb from somewhere in its fourth season, in 2013. In Doctor Who terms, this will be after The Name of the Doctor but before the 50th anniversary really kicked into gear.

(Incidentally, I’m going to cheat here a bit. I want to reference a Phineas and Ferb episode that didn’t come out until 2014, but I didn’t realize this until after I had written most of this up. It will still work narratively thanks to time travel, but obviously, it’s unlikely in real life that the Phineas and Ferb team knew all the details about a story that was still a year in their future. But still, this is what I’m going with).

Normally, there’d be two stories in one half hour episode, but occasionally when the tale demanded it one adventure would cover the whole segment. On rare occasions, stories would be a full two-parter. Because I can never write anything short it seems, our story is full-blown three-part Phineas and Ferb story.

The opening theme song of Phineas and Ferb pointed out that there were 104 days of summer vacation, and most stories chronicled what the boys and their friends did on a different day of that same vacation. There were, however, more than 104 stories, so part of what we’re going to do with our story is explain that discrepancy.

Oh, by the way, special thanks to all three of my daughters, who all to one degree or another gave me input and fact-checks on this story, as they are all more familiar wtih Phineas and Ferb than I am.

Fade up!

The 104 Day Paradox, part 1

Act I

On a typical summer vacation day, Phineas (Vincent Martella) and Ferb (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) are gathering with their friends Baljeet (Maulik Pancholy) and Buford (Bobby Gaylor) in their backyard, wondering what to do. Phineas and Ferb’s mother Linda (Caroline Rhea) waves goodbye as she goes out to do some errands–she has to buy supplies for school, which starts next week. Buford is sad that summer vacation is ending so quickly.

Phineas is confused–he’s convinced there are still a few weeks left. Baljeet points out that according to his calculations (which he has written out on a notepad), they are only 80% of the way through Summer vacation, but they have already used 110% of vacation in terms of all their activities. Just then Isabella (Alyson Stoner) shows up with a sing-song, “Whatcha doing?” and learns about the boys’ confusion. She mentions that on the way into the yard she saw something strange, and shows them.

The group is surprised to see a hole in the ground that seems to be releasing some sort of strange, glowing purple energy, which is pouring into the backyard and dissipating into the atmosphere. They speculate that this has something to do with the strange discrepancies about the amount of summer that has passed. Phineas announces he knows what they are going to do today–they have to dig into this hole and expand it so they can figure out where the energy is coming from. As they quickly construct some elaborate digging equipment, Phineas wonders, “Where’s Perry?”

Perry the Platypus (Dee Bradley Baker) has slipped away via a secret tunnel in the backyard. He learns via video briefing from Major Monogram (Jeff “Swampy” Marsh) that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to no good–he seems to be doing some sort of experiment that is having a strange effect on time. Indeed, Major Monogram appears to be getting younger (looking like a 1970’s hippy), and his unpaid intern Carl (Tyler Alexander Mann) has turned into a little kid! Perry notices with alarm that a plant he has in his secret headquarters is getting younger. He springs into action!

Act 2

Perry arrives at the Evil Inc. tower (Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated!) but finds himself trapped in a glass box. Dr. Doofenschmirtz (Dan Povenmire) welcomes Perry and announces his latest plan to conquer the Tri-State area using a new Space-Time Vortexinator, which can pierce the space-time continuum and access the powerful forces of the fourth dimension! He’s been experimenting with this all morning, which explains some of the strange things going on.

Why is he doing this? Because all his life he’s been told things like, “That’s the way the cookie crumbles,”when things happen that can’t be undone. Well, now he’s going to use the Space-Time Vortexinator to prove that history can be changed! Specifically, he’s going to wipe the entire Tri-State area out of existence, so he can then build a new Tri-State area where cookies never crumble.

(Some people might worry that he is playing with forces too dangerous to tamper with, he muses, just for the sake of cookies, but he disagrees. This is one of the advantages of being a mad scientist–you are smart enough to know how to play with dangerous forces, but not too inhibited to leave them alone).

Back in the yard, Phineas, Ferb and the others have begun a massive excavation project, digging into the ground to find where the purple energy is coming from. The wider they make the hole, though, the more energy comes forth. Candace (Ashley Tisdale) comes outside at this point, talking on her phone with her friend Stacy, and sees what is happening. She is alarmed by the destruction that is being done to the yard, and quickly calls her Mom to let her know and bust the boys–but their Mom is in the middle of her errands and doesn’t pay Candace much attention.

Just then, there is a huge rumble from the hole in the ground and a bunch of dinosaurs jump through and start running around, quickly followed by cowboys on horseback, World War I biplanes, and Roman Legion soldiers with chariots…and even strange robotic Yeti. They all chase each other around wildly. Everyone panics.

Act 3

Dr. Doofenschmirtz activates his Vortexinator, but Perry manages to get himself free and sabotages the ray. It loses focus, and instead of doing what the scientist wants, it punches a hole in the space-time continuum, creating a “time tunnel” which goes into the fourth dimension, emerging in Phineas and Ferb’s backyard…earlier that day. Doofenschmirtz and Perry struggle together and both fall wildly into the time tunnel. The two fall out of a similar hole to another place and time in Danville, outside the big Tri-State Mart–but find themselves paralyzed–suspended in the purple energy as it spills out the hole. They are both pretty annoyed.

Meanwhile, back in the yard, things are going more out of control. The various groups are fighting each other, while the kids struggle to survive. The family’s dad, Lawrence (Richard O’Brien), reads his newspaper inside. He notices that something odd is happening outside, but isn’t phased and continues with his reading.

Suddenly, in the midst of the chaos, there is a familiar wheezing and groaning noise as the TARDIS materializes, and the 11th Doctor (Matt Smith) emerges.

I don’t have any animated pictures of Matt Smith, sadly.

He quickly takes in the situation, and uses the sonic screwdriver and a Venusian lullaby to put an angry Tyrannosaurus to sleep before it tramples Candace. Candace is instantly smitten with the Doctor and his “dreamy” appearance. The Doctor learns from Phineas and Ferb about what is going on. He scans the hole and says it’s a sloppily made temporal schism with dangerous vortex energy pouring through. The Doctor then asks the boys, “Aren’t you a little young to playing around with space-time vortex energy?” Phineas says, “Yes, yes we are,” just before the group has to avoid being run over by a chariot.

The Doctor announces he has to trace the vortex energy back to its source with with his TARDIS, but just then the ground shakes and he and Candace fall in the hole. They cling on to the side desperately but are too out of reach to be rescued. The Doctor throws his key to Ferb, instructing the boys to use the TARDIS to follow him through the schism, while he and Candace go “the direct route.” The Doctor and Candace fall together, out of sight, screaming.

Phineas and Ferb run to the TARDIS and enter, amazed at how huge it is on the inside.

End Credits

The 104 Day Paradox, part 2

Act 1

In the TARDIS, Phineas and Ferb get acclimated. Ferb accidentally touches the TARDIS’ telepathic circuits and the TARDIS scans their mind, understanding where they need to go.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Candace arrive in another time and place, but like Perry and Doofenschmirtz find themselves paralyzed in the purple energy that is pouring through the schism. This doesn’t stop Candace from asking lots of questions–the Doctor dismisses many of them with an “I’ll explain later.” He is more concerned with tracking down the fiend who is behind this problem. Who could it be, he wonders…Davros? Sutekh? The Terrible Zodin??

Just then the TARDIS begins to materializes nearby, which the short-circuits the vortex energy differential and breaks the Doctor and Candace free of the beam. The Doctor waves a hearty cheerio toward the TARDIS…which promptly disappears again. The Doctor obviously wasn’t expecting that to happen.

In the TARDIS, Phineas and Ferb struggle to control the TARDIS, realizing its gone further then they intended. They materializes again, somewhere (and sometime) else, and this time the boys manage to bring it to a halt. Emerging, they see it is night, in the lobby of the Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc. building. Bizarrely, the building (and the whole city) is being overrun by a plague of Mindless, Repulsive Pharmacists (in reality, copies of Dr. Doofenschmirtz) who drone, “More of me!!” and seem to be able to turn other people into Pharmacists if they touch them. They don’t recognize the event.

“This must be from our personal future,” says Ferb (he is right–this will be explained in Night of the Living Pharmacists, which will air a year later). Suddenly, they hear screaming from inside and realize that it is Candace, and she is in danger!

Act 2

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Candace discover that they have traveled to the day when an invention allowed Baljeet to increase his brain power dramatically, but at the cost of his sanity (Cranius Maximus). Baljeet is currently in a tower, operating a machine which will send the earth’s atmosphere to the moon (so Baljeet’s telescope will work better). The Doctor finds the local Phineas, Ferb, Isabella and Buford, and reveals that the he believes that Baljeet is actually his old enemy the Master, in a new incarnation. The Doctor assures the other kids that he is sorry, so sorry, but their friend is probably already dead, but he will do what he can to stop the Master once and for all–although he adds that since he and the Master used to be such very good chums they might just end playing a game of dominoes instead.

The Doctor attempts to approach Baljeet but he is repelled by the boy genius’ rockets and lasers. The Doctor then encourages Candace to provide a distraction for him while he sneaks around the back, to which she reluctantly agrees. She tries to wave at Baljeet and speak with him, but he surprises everyone when a tractor beam he’s invented pulls her inside his control center with him. He announces that once he has finished moving the atmosphere, he will make her his bride. Everyone agrees the brain amplification is doing really funny things to him. However, Candace is able to use her position to shut down the defenses and let the Doctor in.

Once inside, the Doctor halts the atmosphere transfer process and saves the world. He realizes, sheepishly, that Baljeet isn’t the Master, and helps to restore his brain to normal. Before Phineas and Ferb dismantle the brain amplifier, the Doctor uses it on himself so he can find a way to short circuit the vortex energy without a TARDIS, so he and Candace can travel through the schism again, to follow the purple energy back toward its source. The two are making their goodbyes when the local Candace comes from the house. Time-traveling Candace is interested to meet her but the Doctor refuses…if they met the resulting temporal energy could blow a hole in space and time! He activates the process he has learned from his temporary brain-increase and he and Candace are zapped away.

Act 3

Meanwhile, in the Living Pharmacists world, Phineas and Ferb head upstairs to where they heard the screaming, but Ferb is cut off and must return to the TARDIS to find another way to help. Phineas gets through and finds Candace at a hang-out with Vanessa Doofenschmirtz (Olivia Olson) and her friends, all threatened by the Pharmacists!

They are surprised at his presence but he is able to help them avoid the first wave of Pharmacists, and tries to lead them back to the TARDIS. In the TARDIS, Ferb looks around frantically and finds a long brown jacket with an old blue-tipped sonic screwdriver in its pocket.

Phineas and the girls run around the building to approach the TARDIS, but in the process run into Pharmacists and everyone but Phineas, Candace, and Vanessa are grabbed and transformed. The others are about to fall victim to the Pharmacists as well when suddenly Ferb emerges from the TARDIS, looking very much like the Tenth Doctor, complete with 3D glasses. Ferb stands dramatically, and wields his sonic screwdriver, and says, “Allons-y!”

End Credits

The 104 Day Paradox, part 3

Act I

Ferb uses the sonic screwdriver to drive the Pharmacists away, and helps Phineas, Vanessa and Candace to escape in the TARDIS.

Once inside, everyone catches their breath. When Candace realizes how big the TARDIS is, she tells her brothers that they are going to be so busted with their Mom. Vanessa ask Ferb what is going on, and he replies, “Apparently, time is not just a strict progression from cause to effect, but is in fact more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey…stuff.” Phineas agrees…right now there are more important things to think about than Pharmacists. Ferb once again sends the TARDIS into flight.

Perry and Doofenschmirtz are bored–they’ve been trapped in their purple beam for some time. They’ve taken to playing “I spy” to pass the time. Suddenly, a portal opens up and the Doctor and Candace come flying through–Candace ends up bumping her head against a wall and is knocked out. Their arrival frees Doofenschmirtz and Perry.

A confrontation breaks out between them (the Doctor speaks Platypus) and the Doctor realizes that Doof is the fiend behind the space-time schism. The Doctor announces that he is Time’s Champion, the Oncoming Storm, the Predator of the Daleks, the Beast of Trenzalore, etc, as he vows to stop Doof. Doofenschmirtz is taken aback by all this and says he’d rather just fight Perry the Platypus.

The TARDIS also arrives, and Phineas, Ferb, Candace and Vanessa emerge. Before people can get a handle on what is going on, suddenly the local Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, Bajleet and Candace all arrive on flying kiddie-rides, wondering what is going on. The time traveling Phineas and Ferb and the time traveling remember the day they did this (Ain’t no Kiddie Ride).

In all the confusion, Doofenschmirtz is subdued and tied up. He’s ashamed that Vanessa is seeing him like this. Candace from the TARDIS sees the first time-traveling Candace lying unconscious, and goes to her to help her up. The Doctor sees this and yells for her to stop, but it’s too late. A mighty explosion results–a huge release of temporal energy from the Blinovitch Limitation Effect, the Doctor explains. Cracks appear the skin of the universe begin to open everywhere–the Doctor says his enemies are taking advantage of the weakness in space and time to invade. Suddenly, hordes of aliens and monsters–Autons, Sontarans, Cybermen, Weeping Angels and Daleks–all start to appear. Everyone panics and screams.

Act 2

The group on the tricked-out kiddie rides are able to outpace the monsters for a while, but it doesn’t last. Local-Ferb is converted into a Cyberman, Buford is exterminated by a Dalek, Baljeet is sent back in time by a Weeping Angel. Doofenschmirtz gets free of his bonds in time to save Vanessa from an Auton, and Perry holds his own against an army of Sontarans.

The Doctor explains that he has to return to the source of the original temporal incursion (Doof and his -inator) to save the world, but he must first deal with the cracks in the universe to travel safely. When asked how this can be done, the Doctor isn’t sure–the problem began with two Candace’s making physical contact…only an oppositely-charged but more powerful explosion could reverse the damage. Phineas tells the Doctor that Ferb has an idea–Ferb points to his sonic screwdriver and then to the three Candace’s who are there with them and the Doctor agrees that that is brilliant!

Ferb uses his sonic screwdriver to reverse the polarity of the three Candace’s, so they are now oppositely charged. The three Candace’s realize that they have to sacrifice themselves to save the universe–if they all connect, they will set off a more powerful explosion that will heal the cracks in the universe and send the monsters away. The Doctor tenderly tells the Candace’s that for this moment, they will be the most important girl in the universe, and that they will never be forgotten. Bravely, they come together, even as the Daleks and Cybermen and other monsters approach to destroy them. They touch hands, releasing a huge explosion of oppositely-charged energy, sealing the cracks and sending all the monsters away.

The three Candace’s all merged into one, who is unconscious, and is being drawn into a ball of purple vortex energy that has been left behind. Phineas and Ferb race forward to grab her, and all three are pulled in. The Doctor says that hopefully that’s all right–they should be brought one end of the schism, while he will go in the TARDIS with Perry, Doof and Vanessa to the other. The Doctor says that hopefully once they have stopped the problem at its source, all of this craziness will just be “undone.”

After the TARDIS has left, Isabella realizes that this precise version of her may soon not exist anymore, so she takes advantage of the moment to confess how much she likes Phineas. He is surprised, but reciprocates.

Act 3

Phineas, Ferb and unconscious Candace shoot through the time vortex. They abruptly phase from one recognizable image to another, all from different episodes of Phineas and Ferb (maybe, rapidly, through every episode of the show), glimpsing characters who haven’t been part of this story–Jeremy, Stacy, the Mayor, and so on. Finally, they land back in the backyard where everything began, with their friends alive, but still running from dinosaurs, Yeti and so on. Candace wakes up and sees chaos. Apparently not remembering anything about the day, she mutters how she is going to bust her brothers for their latest shenanigans.

Meanwhile, the TARDIS arrives in Doofenschmirtz’ lab–because of the time differences, they have arrived there while Perry and Doof are in the middle of their initial fight.

The later Doof yells at his earlier self to give up–his “-inator” as it’s going to cause more problems then it’s worth. The earlier Doof refuses to listen, irritating his later self for being so obtuse. The later-Doof reaches out to slap his younger self in frustration…

The later-Perry sees this but is too far away to stop it–he quickly chatters to earlier Perry who jumps into action and prevents the two Doofenschmirtz’s from connecting.

Linda arrives home. Candace grabs her enthusiastically and drags her toward the backyard.

The Doctor goes to the Time Vortexinator and fiddles with it with his sonic screwdriver. He opens up a small portal in space-time which causes the purple beam to reappear behind the Vortexinator and hit itself! As a result, the Vortexinator is destroyed–wiping all evidence of its existence from reality.

In the yard, the portal and energy vanish, taking away the dinosaurs, cowboys, biplanes and Roman soldiers. Linda sees nothing but the backyard, as well as Phineas, Ferb, and their friends, who are all breathing a sigh of relief.

A quick look at the other episodes that the characters have visited shows them all back to normal.

Back over at Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated, one of the Doofenschmirtz’s, one of the Perry’s and Vanessa all say a contented goodbye and fade away, arm-in-arm. The Doctor leaves in the TARDIS. The remaining Doofenschmirtz is really uncertain as to whether he is from this time frame or not, and blames Perry for his confusion. As Perry jumps away with a hang glider, he cries out, “Curse you Perry the Platypus!!!”

In the backyard, Candace announces she feels really tired and goes inside the sleep. Baljeet, Buford and Isabella also decide they’ve had enough excitement for the day, and leave.

The TARDIS arrives in the backyard, and the Doctor emerges to thank Phineas and Ferb for all their help.

The boys ask if everything is back to normal, and the Doctor answers that it should be mostly, but there still might be some residual effects–confusion with the calendar, some odd random things here and there…. Just then the big disembodied baby head floats by, but the group doesn’t comment on it. After it’s gone, the Doctor finishes, “You know, things like that.” The boys ask about the plague of Pharmacists that they saw in the future, and the Doctor says not to worry about it, that’s a fixed point in time–it’ll happen no matter what they do.

Lawrence comes outside to head to his shop and notices the Doctor talking to his sons. He calls out, “Hello Doctor!” The Doctor responds “Hello Lawrence” as the dad walks away. The boys are shocked–the Doctor knows their dad? The Doctor replies of course, he was there when he met their mother–another fixed point in time. Just then, Perry comes along, and Phineas says, “Oh there you are Perry.” Perry chatters, and the Doctor chatters back at him before leaving in the TARDIS.

The End!

Phew! See you next time!


One thought on “Doctor Who & Phineas and Ferb–Non-Existent Crossovers (Eleventh Doctor)

  1. Very interesting crossover selection for the 11th Doctor. Congratulations again. Would you also consider a Doctor Who crossover with the Dune universe? I think that would be awesome.

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