Every week in 2018, the plan is that my friend Rod is going to ask me some geeky question that will answer in a post. This week is Week #27, and this week’s question is:
Aside from earth, what planets originating from Star War, from Star Trek and from comic books would I choose to live on?
The idea here is to choose three planets, one from each source, and tell why I chose it and what life would be like there.
The tricky thing about this is of course that most of the worlds that you find in these “universe” are pretty unpleasant. Star Wars worlds are generally operating under the thumb of the Empire or the First Order. Star Trek worlds are always being destroyed by stellar anomalies. Comic book worlds are regularly the home of despotic alien empires or warlords.
But nonetheless, I’ve scoured a few databases (eg. wikipedia) and made some choices.
Star Wars Universe
The temptation was to select Coruscant, the planet-sized city that was the heart of civilization for both the Republic and the Empire, and thus looked like a pretty decent place to live in the prequel trilogies, at least before that pesky Order 66 got underway which resulted in the deaths of a whole lot of Jedi. Plus, if I was there, maybe I could get a chance to ride around on one of those cool flying platforms that you see in Senate Chamber.
But no, my choice is…
Where? That’s the planet that Maz Kanata’s castle is on, that see in Episode VII: The Force Awakens. It seems to be a lush world with lots of forests and lakes, and was situated roughly on the edge of the galactic frontier-lands. In other words, it was sort of either the last bit of a civilization you’d encounter on your travels, or the first bit, depending on which way you were heading. Thus, it seemed to be a place you could keep out galactic politics if you wanted to, which is definitely a plus if you are trying to “make a living” in the Star Wars universe.
I imagine I’d have a cabin by a lake somewhere, maybe an hours walk to Maz Kanata’s castle, not far from those woods where Kylo Ren captured Rey. I’d have a little kitchen, a whole bunch of books, and something to write with. I guess I’d be a novelist or a screen writer, and make my living selling material for the under-served book and movie market to the post-Empire Star Wars galaxy. I’d travel occasionally into town for supplies, but otherwise live a pretty reclusive life.
But I’d also visit Maz Kanata’s castle from time to time in order to hear stories about what was happening in both the inner and outer rim. And I’d deliberately try to get to know Maz herself, primarily so I could learn how she got a hold of Luke’s lightsabre, and to find out what she knows about what J.J. Abrams was planning for the mysteries of the Star Wars mythology before The Last Jedi came along.
Then maybe I’d position myself to help out when the First Order attack in The Force Awakens, so I could go back with General Leia and prevent some of the disastrously stupid decisions made by the Resistance in The Last Jedi. (“Ok, Admiral Holdo, please share your plans with your senior officers, while you, Poe, don’t inadvertently lead to the deaths of most of your allies while still being treated as a hero and a leader…etc”)
Star Trek Universe
The temptation here is to go for Malcor III, the world from the Next Generation episode, First Contact, simply because it’s pretty close to earth culture and seems like a pretty safe place. But chances are I’d actually just cause a cultural breakdown when I fail to remember that the world has 29 hours in a day and I don’t apply my alien makeup properly and I end up giving away my true origins.
So instead, I’m choosing…
The Shore Leave Planet
Also known as the Amusement Park planet, the Shore Leave Planet was an apparently uninhabited planet in the Omicron Delta region that was created by an unnamed but highly advanced race as a place where people could “come and play.” Advanced computers scan visitor’s minds and quickly create realistic robots in order to bring their fantasies to life. This all went wrong in the episodes that this world appeared in (Shore Leave from the original series, and Once Upon a Planet from the animated series) but if the whole thing was working like it’s supposed to, it has no nefarious purpose.
The one inhabitant of the Shore Leave planet is the Keeper, a member of the unnamed race who had built the world. He was revealed to have died in the animated sequel, and so presumably if I went to live in this world I’d basically take his place. I’d become the “host” for people, families and crews who came to enjoy the Shore Leave facilities, sort of like a galactic Mr. Rourke from Fantasy Island. Probably one of the most interesting parts of the job will be helping the visitors understand that if their dreams are dangerous, they could be killed, but don’t worry, we’ll repair any damage in our underground medical complex.
Of course, I’d be tempted to partake in the world’s recreational facilities, but I’d get over that idea after my first visit from an ex-girlfriend or a school bully. Or rather, I think I’d specifically spend my spare time using the technology to create scripted dramas, along the lines of plays or movies, trying to discover what sort of artistic storytelling possibilities existed in such an environment, and thus trying to expand on the sort of things you could do on the world, thus expanding its business.
In so doing, I’d hopefully stave off the overall sense of boredom that could come from being a lone sentient inhabitant of the world, and keep myself from descending into some sort of insanity that would turn me into a villain of a future Star Trek episode.
Comic Book Universe
Of course, there are many comic book “universes”, but I’m going with the shared world that exists in DC Comics, because that’s the company I’m most familiar with. The first thought I had was choosing Krypton, the home world of Superman, in all its Silver Age scientific utopia goodness. But that idea is made less appealing by all the depictions of that world that have highlighted how corrupt, dangerous or boring it is. Plus, there’s the whole “exploding” thing which puts a damper on the idea.
So I’ve settled on…
Rann is a planet in the Alpha Centauri star system which is inhabited by people who basically look exactly like human beings. It is a scientifically advanced world with flying cars and the like, but who are isolationist and xenophobic. Their cultural advancement has led to a sterility which results in Rannians looking down on other races, and also unable to have children.
Much of this doesn’t sound too appealing, but you know what? They have jet packs. So yeah, I’m off to Rann, where I get my jet pack, my robot servants, my hard-light energy weapon, and so on, and I’d be living it up as best I could with a bunch of futuristic technology.
If all this was happening to me when I was married (as I am now), my wife and children and I would make our home in a suburb of the capital city of Ranagar, where we would embark on our mission of helping our fellow Rannians get out of their cultural rut by showing them what a family looks like. Eventually, if there were enough children, maybe we’d start a school. On the other hand, if I was single in this scenario, than I’d probably be falling in love with a fetching Rannian woman. We’d get married and have the second child to be born on Rann for a generation (after Adam’s daughter Aleea), thus helping to give all Rannians hope for the future.
In either case, I’d join up as an assistant of sorts to Adam Strange, another earth man who went to live on Rann, helpng him to defend his adopted homeworld from galactic threats, and generally showing the stuffy locals that they could learn a thing or two from us earthmen.
Or, let’s get real, I’m much more likely to be part of Adam’s support team, sitting around the office looking at radar scopes, maintaining Zeta Beam emitters, or doing internet research. But by golly I’d use that jet pack at some point.