7 Things on a List on the Internet Designed to Make You Want to Click On It

Because what better way is there to kick off 2016 but with a list on the internet?

.

ID-100332082

Image courtesy of vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

.

1. Every movie would be better if at the end, it featured a scene of the main character getting a medal, alongside Chewbacca

.

Medal

Image courtesy of pixtawan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

.

Remember Star Wars and how awesome it was?  Remember that awesome ending when Luke & Han got medals, alongside Chewbacca?  Just imagine if every movie ended that way!  The simple truth is that there’s not a single movie, good or bad, that would not have been improved by an extra scene, featuring the main character getting a medal, alongside Chewbacca.

Back to the Future? Great movie!  But it would have been better if at the end, Marty had gotten a medal, alongside Chewbacca.   2001:  A Space Odyssey?  Awesome movie!  But even more awesome if the Star-Child had received a medal, alongside Chewbacca!  The Martian?  Awesome, but not enough Chewbacca.

Frankly, the list is endless:  Twelve Monkeys, Twelve Angry Men, Children of Men, Children of the Corn, Children of the Corn III, Star Trek III, Stargate, Heaven’s Gate, Heaven Can Wait, Waiting for Godot…

Every one, without exception, improved by the presence of the main character getting a medal, alongside Chewbacca.

.

2. If cats could fly, people would train them to kill people

.

cat

Image courtesy of Idea go at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

.

This was actually a misquote that a friend of mine said while we were chatting about what would happen if cat’s could fly.  I think she meant to say that people would train them to kill birds.  I’m not sure why she should think such a thing, but an amusing detail is that the girl who said this was actually named Kat.  For real.

By the way, one of my favorite movies as a kid was The Cat From Outer Space starring Ken Barry and a cat who actually could fly, but he neither killed birds nor people.

.

3. David Keith is not to be confused with Keith David

.

ID-10010882

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

.

Behind Enemy Lines is a mediocre film starring Owen Wilson in a dramatic part.  One of the supporting actors of the film is David Keith.  He plays Master Chief Tom O’Malley.

Now, I never saw Behind Enemy Lines II:  Axis of Evil, but I feel comfortable proclaiming that it was also, at best, a mediocre movie.  I am not familiar with that movie’s star, but one of the supporting actors is Keith David, who is actually a completely different person.

Wikipedia, nicely, warns us not to get the two of them mixed up, even though they’ve both appeared in the Behind Enemy Lines franchise.  Who knew Behind Enemy Lines was a franchise?

Incidentally, how much better would Behind Enemy Lines have been if at the end Owen Wilson had gotten a medal alongside Chewbacca?

.

4. A Story from my past working on low-budget independent films in New York

.

ID-100176212

Image courtesy of samandale at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

.

Once, while working on a cheap crime revenge movie that I believe, unfortunately, was eventually completed, I slept at the apartment of the guy in charge of blood make up.  We had been working all night and were really wrecked, and only had 8 or 10 hours or so before we had to be back at it, so this guy graciously allowed myself and others to sleep there rather than making the arduous trek several hours to my home.

His place was mainly one large room whose walls were plastered with pornography.  I ended up trying to sleep on a two-seater couch with really high arms, while my friends took the sofa bed.  Instead of going to sleep, our host watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II on video while drinking about a dozen cans of beer.

So, all due credit to our new friend and his hospitality, but it was a pretty uncomfortable way of spending my limited downtime:  trying not to look at pornographic pictures, trying not to listen to people’s death-screams as they’re dismembered by chainsaws, and trying to sleep with my legs twice the height of my head.

.

5. Simon Pegg is being type-cast!

.

ID-100310559

Image courtesy of vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

That’s right, the clever, versatile, talented Simon Pegg is in terrible danger of being type-cast as the voices of  robust little mammals who ride the back of flying reptiles shouting battle cries.  The proof?  Just look at two of Pegg’s roles:  the voice of Buck, the crazed weasel in Ice Age III:  Dawn of the Dinosaurs, and also the voice of Reepicheep, the honorable warrior mouse in The Chronicles of Narnia:  The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

Other actors to be concerned about:  John Cleese and his proclivity to play the voice of possibly enchanted frogs (The Swan Princess, the Shrek movies), and Mary Steenburgen, who likes to play women swept off their feet by eccentric time travelers (Time after Time, Back to the Future part III).  Also, Peter Mayhew, who mostly seems to play Chewbacca.

.

6. “Stressed” is “Desserts” spelled backwards

.

ID-100194906

Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

.

What does this mean?  Are more desserts the answer for when you are seriously stressed?  Does being stressed cause you to eat more desserts?  Or less desserts?  Serious research is required.

Similarly, “DNA” is “and” spelled backwards!  Wacky, hey?

.

7. If you die an offended person, you could put, “I was right!” on your tombstone.

.

ID-100182589

Image courtesy of Gualberto107 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

.

That would show them!

.

Do you like lists?

.

ID-10026029

Image courtesy of Rawich at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

.

Did you find this list edifying?  Do you enjoy easily digestible bits of dubious information and want more?  Be sure to let us know!

.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s